Y’all… this is the most “written straight from the gut“-essay I have ever written.
My work is so full right now. I can feel that I am standing somewhere close to the first mountaintop of my work, which will ultimately determine where I go from here.
My entire being is in the now. I am feeling pulled into the doing, into the presencing with others, into the soaking up of life lessons, into the inhaling of the days, and the exhaling at night. I feel grounded in understanding how I can build a bigger platform for Leadership That Heals and write my first book, and I feel satisfied with the incredible wins I have recently achieved, as well as the deep, deep challenges I am facing. There is less judgment that lives inside of me - judging life for being good or bad, but more of an acceptance that I get to choose where to take this.
The lesson for me here is that embodied (truly felt) choice breathes possibility into every other aspect of your life. It is one of the most delightful forms of nervous system capacity.
I surrender to meeting my uncomfortable moments, and I am very happy. I am happy with my life, my wonderful children, and my incredible husband, and I am enjoying the fruits of making giant, scary leaps recently.
This might last for a moment, for a few weeks, or a few months. And yet, most recently, I haven’t really cared anymore. I feel like, for the first time in years, I can really hold it all - the width, length, and depth of life. I know there is a correlation with moving out of the physically demanding days of motherhood, and I am here for it.
This message is a message to all of us going through long periods of personal transformation, to navigating wildly unpredictable unknowns, to meeting ourselves over and over again to find a moment of peace to rest on: Look back more often.
Really soak in where you’ve come from, and really look at all the small and tiny moments and shifts that you made internally and externally. This is the life. Every small moment ultimately becomes the life you’re living. If you can more often apply your body’s and mind’s wisdom to the life that you are living now, you will realize that you have the answers within you. You are not arriving anywhere; you are always unfolding until the moment you die.
And right here and in realizing this, you have nothing to worry about:
Give it your best, serve people, love them unconditionally, stop judging others for what you can’t see (you eventually will), embrace other’s rigidity and run in the other direction to choose choice over and over again, stop judging the weather and let nature take care of you… maybe then we will realize that we need her (nature) more than she needs us, say the things that need to be said if you know that even just the smallest piece of release sits on the other side (and yes, do it for others too… their release is also yours), let people witness you and offer them to be witnessed by you, offer peace or silence, don’t be at the mercy of someone else’s emergency, while seeing their cry for help. Have a good fight or a good cry with your partner and promise each other to always grow from it. Let love win. Let connection win.
To more regular writing soon.
Many deep essays and breakthroughs with clients are sitting in my drafts, and they deserve a spot in here. However, I have yet to internalize it all myself, so I will write more about it when I have internalized and integrated it into my practice, too.
All the love,
Franzi