There are moments of change, transition, or intensity in our life on this earth that demand more of us. It can be anything and all of it…
More time
More energy
More depth
More compassion
More empathy
More patience
More resilience
More deep breaths
More giving
More presence
Just more of us.
This doesn’t always feel “stressful”. In fact, most of the time, “being needed“ is an incredibly energizing, fulfilling, and meaningful experience.
Change and transitions can feel exciting, and make us feel alive in a new way. The same is true in organizations. Depending on the context, change can be highly anticipated and celebrated. As leaders, we have the chance to create environments where change is celebrated, even amongst our most change-adverse team members.
Why am I saying this?
I thought a lot about my desire for calmness in my life and ran up against something last week that I was aware of, but it clicked in a new way.
I actually don’t want calmness, I want seasons of calmness. I don’t want stress, I want seasons of stress, expenditure, and new uncomfortable aliveness. I don’t want daily routines, I want seasons of daily routines. I don’t want to jet-set through countries like I used to; I want intentional trips that deeply align with me, my family, and my business objectives. I want to grow my business, I don’t want to grow my business all the time. As in being in biz dev sales mode 365 days a year.
In short: I want to live in the grey. All the time.
And I think this is where we’re getting change, deadlines, and stress all wrong.
Why is that? The keyword here is “allostatic load“.
Here is a short definition:
“Allostatic load refers to the cumulative burden of chronic stress and life events. It involves the interaction of different physiological systems at varying degrees of activity. When environmental challenges exceed the individual's ability to cope, allostatic overload ensues.”
In my practice, I call this capacity exceeding performance, and it’s a workshop I have given dozens of times to teams of all stages, sizes, and cultural backgrounds.
And here is where the teams and I always spend time discussing how to do it:
I probably have mentioned this several times, but I am saying it again because it can’t be overstated: The problem with stress is not stress; it’s whether and how we recover from stress. Stress is crucial and we need it to function. Every morning our body uses cortisol to help us wake up. Whenever we work out, we use adrenaline and cortisol to get stronger and healthier. Every time we do something outside our comfort zone, we use adrenaline to dare to try it.
The challenge is when we stay in a sympathetic nervous system state (fight-or-flight/fawning) for too long.
We are meant to come back down from this heightened state - we’re naturally programmed to move through seasons::
Morning - Noon - Afternoon - Night
Spring - Summer - Fall - Winter
Wake up - Rise - Contain - Complete
Sunrise - Sunset - Dark
Idea - Go-to-Market - Thrive and Fail - Iterate - Succeed - Build excellence - Shut down/Next CEO
Inhale - Hold - Exhale
Endings - Exploration - New beginnings
Birth - Childhood - Adulthood - Elderly - Death
Menstruation - The Follicular Phase - Ovulation - The Luteal Phase
Confusion - Surrender - Sense-making - Action
Food intake - chemical and mechanical degradation of food - nutrients' absorption - removal of indigestible food.
This is where old productivity and hustle cultures fail us. They don’t consider that everyone and everything goes through seasons.
And has to.
It is crucial for our sense of direction, belonging, rhythm, and sense-making of the world. Our body directs it. Mother nature directs it. Life directs it. But somehow, we think we can outperform our inherent need for seasonal homeostasis.
Returning to the beginning of this essay: How do we as leaders learn to accept, live, and embody, that with every season of change comes phases of rest and digest?
For instance: After a product sprint or a massive launch:
— do we truly take a moment together to breathe (literally!)?
— Do we truly go through what we just experienced? Not just an intellectual retro or post-mortem but also a collective settling of our minds and bodies to process accomplishments and adventures together? (This doesn’t take longer than 60 minutes)
Let me give you a few examples I have found meaningful to journal about:
How do you - individually, as a team, or as a company - go through moments of deep, intense work and then also honor a week of a slower pace?
Do you, as a CEO, founder, president, or team lead by example, AND permit others to recover from the recent weeks of intensity? How might that look? What low-hanging fruit actions could you take today?How do you respect seasons of normal daily stress and “rest and digest” in your home? What rituals mark the beginning, middle, and end of the day? How do they help you and your family members to gather more meaningfully?
As a leader and/or person with great responsibility, how do you balance giving and receiving throughout the week? How do you incubate, do deep work, to then move into stages of communication, support, and guidance?
As a female leader in your family and at work, how do you understand the changes in your cycle as ways to do different work throughout the month? (cyclical training is something that a lot of professional female athletes have used for decades)
How do you start, hold, and close meetings as a team? Are you allowing folks to arrive for a minute or two, or are you jumping right in? Are you following a certain structure in weekly re-occurring meetings to orient folks? And how do you leave the meeting? Not just with the next action steps but also with questions such as: How does this feel to everyone? Is there something that may stand in the way that we didn’t voice? (save the last 10 min for this in case something comes up)
How do you start your day? How do you gradually rise to important, potentially stressful (in a good way) tasks? How do you end the day? Do you allow the ebbs and flows of a day to support your energy levels?
Many of my clients start doing 10-20min NSDRs (non-sleep deep rest, also known as yoga nidra) in their workday to digest and integrate the demands of the first phase of their day and re-charge for a more mindful approach for the last part of the day. Some also end the day with it. Point being is a more mindful approach to context switching and as a result to truly allow one thing to end before something else starts. I have found that this improves my cognitive bandwidth and memory in general.
Do you grab your phone after a meeting to check social media or emails? Or do you take a moment to reflect, write down a few notes, follow up with others, or stretch/sit for a moment?
My answers to these 7 questions have varied widely throughout my adult life: I have found myself on the whole continuum of choices. I’ve learned that it was deeply uncomfortable initially to let go of the urge to be “productive“. I found myself feeling lazy and ineffective. I found myself anxious and restless. Once I could witness all of this from a place of a non-hypervigilant nervous system, I was able to meet myself with more compassion. Honoring that part of change is to witness how uncomfortable change really is allowed me to lean into deep breathing. It taught me how good it truly feels to do something for your body’s most pressing signals (vs. the standard knowledge of what is prescribed as being good).
And with all of this, one thing always came back to me:
”Honor the seasons, Franzi. Honor the seasons.”
What season are you in? (daily, weekly, monthly, annually, in life)
Which season are you leaving?
Does that need a little more attention?
Do you need to voice it more explicitly? What are the strategic implications?
Do you need to invite others to co-regulate more effectively (especially in a team setting)?
Am I saying it’s as simple as those words cross your eyes? No.
Does it need your and your team members’ commitment to making sense of your season? Yes.
Does it mean it will be an ongoing practice and most likely never be perfect for everyone? Yes.
Leading from a place of nervous system capacity is new to many.
Understanding how to regulate your nervous system is deep work. Knowing how to positively influence the nervous system of an entire team or organization comes with a deep commitment to ongoing practice and skillful action.
Using the natural seasons and cycles/patterns we can observe contextually (also in our organizations) is a powerful starting point. It will hold you accountable to a more capacity-led personal life, leadership, and organizational design. It is the root of optimizing for belonging, safety, and dignity, while continuing to build sustainable, commercial success.
Let all of this sink in for a moment. Some things will resonate more with you than others. Trust that. Explore it. Journal. Talk with others.
Here to help.
All the love, all the power,
Franzi
Loved this one Franzi! 📈📉📈📉 ✌️